THE ADVENTURES OF ALPHONSE

Page 17

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Organizing the Candidate's Committee

The word is out that Alphonse is going to run for president. The time has come to form a committee to run the campaign and make sure Alphonse is where he is supposed to be when he is supposed to be there. It will take a bit of a selling job to get everyone on board.

Barely, said Alphonse I need your help. Sure Al, said Barely, what can I do for you? You can be my committee chairman, said Al. What's a committee chairman, asked Barely? The chairman is the one in charge of the election committee, and keeps everything running smoothly, said Alphonse. I've never done anything like that said Barely. I would probably mess up everything. You are my best friend, and I think you can do a good job, said Al. Also, I need someone I can trust. Well, said Barely, I'll give it a try, but you have to tell me if I am doing stuff wrong. Great, said Al.

I asked you all here at the same time,said Al, to discuss your roles on my presidential committee. I have talked to you all before to solicit your help. You will all three work closely on each project. Hickey, said Al, you agreed to be in charge of interviews and talks or presentations. We won't be making requests, but we will receive lots of them. Golly, said Mac, you will be in charge of travel arrangements. Your job will involve both travel, lodging and food. Vinny will be in charge of security, said Al, so he will work closely with each of you on the security issues that arise in various locations. Vinny will also act as my personal body guard.

Ozzy, said Al, you are in charge of speech writing. I figure with all those hands, or feet, you can write real fast. Plus, being from the ocean, you have a wide ranging knowledge of lots of things. I will be interviewing an applicant for my secretary position shortly. If I hire her, she will work closely with both of us. If things get too hectic, we may have to hire a secretary for you as well.



Just so everyone will know for sure, said Al, Barely is the committee chairman. You will receive work assignments from him. I hope we can all work together and have a very successful campaign.



Good afternoon Miss Sweetly, my name is Mr. Alphonse. I will be interviewing you for the secretarial position and evaluating your skills. Thank you Mr. Alphonse for letting me interview for this position, I think you will find my skills more than adequate for the work involved. Excellent, said Al, let's get started.

The first test will be for dictation & note taking. There will be a lot of note taking and dictation. I will give you some dictation, said Al. "Now is the time for all good - uh-- dogs to come to the aid of their country". Did you get that, asked Al? Yes, said Miss Sweetly, why don't you read it? Lets see, said Al, nowis--time for --all uh. When I am dictating,said Al, leave out the uhs. How will I know if the uh was indecision, are part of the sentence, asked Miss Sweetly? I won't use uh in a sentence, said Al. But, how will I know, asked Miss Sweetly? Because I just told you so, said Al. OH, said Miss Sweetly.

Now is the reading comprehension test. I want you to read this page and see if you understand what you read. OK, said Miss Sweetly. OK what, asked Al? I read it, said Miss Sweetly. How could have read that page so quickly, asked Al, it would have taken --uhhh--if you read that fast, you probably comprehend what you read - right? Yes, said Miss Sweetly. Great, said Al, lets move on to the computer tests.

Here is a picture Mac made and I did the photo reduction, said Al. Would you please tell me what you see about this picture. Well, said Miss Sweetly, the light-to-dark ratio, or contrast, has been altered too steeply. The aspect ratio has been altered, as the relative measurements of the subject are not correct. I just remembered, said Al. Mac did the photo reduction on that photo - I did some later. Lets move on to the math skills test.

For the math skill test, said Al, I will give you a list of numbers to add. I will add them on the calculator and see if we get the same answer. Here is the list, said Al, and we start now. Lets see, said Al, 917 plus 345 plus-- Eleven thousand three hundred forty seven, said Miss Sweetly. How could you possibly add the numbers so quickly, asked Al? I haven't even entered them into the calculator yet. I'm a fast adder, said Miss Sweetly. Miss Sweetly, asked Al, could you sit here for a minute, as I need to conference with my committee for just a second. Fine, said Miss Sweetly.

Barely, said Al, that is the smartest female dog in the whole world. Good ,said Barely. But, she is smarter than all of us put together, said Al. She scares me something awful. She will make us look bad, said Al. If we are careful, said Barely, she can make us look real smart. You sure, asked Al? Yes, said Barely, if we treat her right and be careful what we say I think having a real smart secretary can be a big advantage. As chairman, said Al, you're supposed to know about these things, so I will hire her.

Well, Miss Sweetly, if you want the job, it is yours, said Al. I do want it, said Miss Sweetly, and I know I will do a good job for you. You will have to be on your toes, said Al, as we may pose some real difficult problems for you to help solve. That will wonderful, said Miss Sweetly, I love problem solving. Great, said Al, you will get a bunch of them around here. You can start to work next Monday.

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