I hate not getting to run for president - it's just not fair. I think I will write my congressman. That is, assuming I can find out who he or she is.
It seems that everything I try to do, something goes wrong. I think I will play Mac's guitar a while. Surely nothing could go wrong with that.
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All I have to do is hop over on the guitar and grab the neck - Piece of Cake. I do this all the time.
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Got It - with my chin. Hold on chin while I get my feet up to help. OOOOOH NOOOOO -
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OUCH! That hurt. I thought I had it, but the guitar threw me. If it keeps that up I may have to bite it. I bet it will behave after that.
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I think I will try it from here. After considering the angle and the height, I should have more luck this time. Boy, that guitar better stay still. I hate it when it moves and I miss my mark.
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GOT IT THIS TIME! I have one foot on the neck. Now if I can hold on while I back up a bit, all will be well. This is a real tricky maneuver, not just everyone can do this. Hold on foot - OOOOOH NOOOOO -
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OUCH! That hurt. I wish Mac would stop polishing his guitar. He puts guitar wax on it, and it makes my job much harder. Maybe I should ask him to quit. Maybe I could glue some sandpaper to my tummy to help me stop at the right place. Of course, that might scratch the guitar and then I would be in trouble. Maybe I can blame this on Hickey.
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The window sill has to be the best place to jump from. I think I will be going down more than sideways and that should help. Of course I have get my horizontal velocity just right to land on the guitar. I think this will do it.
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GOT IT! I have two legs on the neck so all I have to do is back up a bit - very carefully. This has to be the slipperyest guitar in the whole world. I don't see how Mac keeps it from sliding out of his lap.
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Now all I have to do is get around to the other side without sliding off. This difficult because, along with the wax, the guitar is not made for climbing on.
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Now if I can get my feet, the ones on the back, moved under me, I can sit on the guitar and play my music.
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Finally, I got to the proper position. Boy, It's great to play the guitar. I may make a wonderful "Classical Guitar Player". I can play about anything - as long it only takes three strings. I can't reach any further than the first three strings. I play the melody on this side.
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When I move to this side, I can play the base on the top three strings. That means I don't play the melody and the base together. But, that doesn't matter, because no one will listen but me. It sounds pretty to me. I'll bet Miss Sarah would like it. I guess I better go back to the melody side and OOOOOH NOOOOO -
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HELP - HELP I'm hanging on the guitar upside down. Does anyone hear me? HELP - HELP somebody get me off of this thing. What in the world is all that noise, wondered Mac, I better go and see about it. Well Al, is one of your tricks to get attention? NO, yelled Al, I'm stuck and it hurts. OK, said Mac, I'll get you out.
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Thank you, Mac, for getting me out of that predicament. I was moving back to the melody side of the guitar and I slipped, said Al. Why do you put so much wax on the guitar? The wax helps maintain the beauty of the wood and keeps it from oxidizing over time, said Mac. Maybe we can come up with a way for you play without all of the jumping and slipping, said Mac. That would be wonderful, said Al, I could play a lot more then. Well, I better think about that for a while, said Mac.
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