This all started when I purchased a stuffed animal - a dog - for my wife. She named him "Alphonse". I had no idea how much trouble one stuffed dog could get into. I must have done something wrong along the way - mac
The first thing that came up, was he wanted some responsibilities around the house. He thought he would make a good guard dog! Since he is a bit short on teeth, he wanted a weapon. He had in mind something powerful. I had in mind a flashlight - it seemed more his speed. I certainly wouldn't trust him with my "357".
It was time for our yearly trek to Branson, MO for a woodcarving Seminar. I usually carve with Gerald Sears. It seems that Alphonse wanted to go to Branson with us, so he went. He spent the trip looking out the window at all of the new sights. When I went to carve, he also wanted to learn to carve. I wasn't sure how that would work out, but you never know till you try. Gerald balked at trying to teach Al to carve, however, he did agree to allow him to observe. Gerald made him sit on his shoulder, otherwise he was in the way and fooling with the carving tools. It remains to be seen how much he learned about carving. Anyway, we all got home safely and now Alphonse can go back to looking after the bedroom. (and what ever else he does while we are gone)
A WEEK LATER- It seems that my wife has been fussing at me more than usual about tracking chips in the house from the shop. I do track some in, however, I am pretty careful about cleaning my feet before I come inside. This leads me to believe that someone else is the culprit. I haven't caught him yet, but I will.
After I vacuumed the house, I went on a "CHIP" hunt. I finally found some in the computer room closet. I brought my camera for evidence, so I could show the problem wasn't me. After a closer look at the chip photo, I saw a small green nose sticking out from behind my tool bag. Only one member of this household has a green nose (I think). I believe I have found the "Chip Monster"!
After moving some things that had been piled up to provide a wall - to hide behind, I found the Chip Monster! Alphonse has found my small Winchester whittling knife and carved something. We will see what it is. He is obviously proud of his work, and not too concerned about getting caught.
It's lecture time! I had to tell Al about the responsibilities of woodcarving. Things like cleaning up ones mess so that others don't get blamed for the chips. Carving someplace that provides better light, and asking permission to use my tools. As you can see the lecture is falling on deaf ears. I've never seen a more blank expression.
Well, it turns out he carved a bone. He is certainly pleased with his work. He actually did a good job. I suppose he was paying attention as Gerald was teaching his class of woodcarving scholars to carve! If I had known he wanted a bone, I would have given him one. I wonder what he will carve next?
A new week - I have been careful to look for wood chips this week. So far, no chips - that is, until today. I didn't find them on the carpet, however, but on Alphonse! I guess the chips really fly when he carves. I think I almost caught him at it, and he hurriedly got back on the bed without realizing he had chips stuck in his hair. So, after some urging, he admitted to carving. I asked what he carved, and he somewhat reluctantly showed me.
A rifle is about the last thing I expected. I can't imagine what he wants with a rifle. So, does he want to be a soldier or policeman or what? No, he wants to be the first Great Red White & Green hunter! I'm not sure what that means, but my question is; what will you hunt? Well, no answer to that so I suppose we will just have to wait.
Of course Al wanted his picture with his latest work. Not a bad looking rifle, but where did he get the design? The Internet of course. I hadn't thought about him getting on the Internet. The fact is, I had never thought about him using the computer. I didn't teach him. I wonder if Al has a girl friend? I really don't want to think about that. All I need is 5 or 6 more like him running amuck in the house.
Well, my wife saw Alphonse with a gun and immediately confiscated it. Told me he had no business with a gun! As you can see Al is heartbroken and spent all day in one place staring into space. My wife couldn't stand the sad look so she relented if I agreed to give Al a thorough lesson in gun safety. I did, and he is real happy to have the rifle back.
Well, I see he is back on the computer. I assumed he was looking for more information on shooting. However, it appears he is editing the pictures I put on the website. Guess he doesn't like my choice of pictures. Oh well-
